Waiting for my steak. I like my steak how I like my men: bleeding.
Want my look? All black Alexander Wang x Uniqlo heat-tech body-suit, Gucci lace tights, Gucci reversible medium tote bag, & Gucci wallet. I'm actually getting kinda' tired of Gucci, & I think that it's because I have too much stuff by them. Yeah. These are the kinds of problems that I have. A day in the life, lol. My make-up was inspired by Sarah Cheung's "Kim K.'s Sex Tape Make-up Tutorial" video on Youtube.
With the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show coming up soon, I decided to do a post on confidence. I get a lot of questions as to how & where I get my ego & my over-confidence. Truthfully, I don't know where to start because this is how I was raised my whole entire life by a mother who's equally egotistical & overly confident, & she taught me this powerful energy in many different ways & how to use it to weaponize myself.
My mom raised me to believe that for as long as anyone hates me, at least I'm smarter & more successful than them, & nothing negative that anyone ever says to & about me is valid because you can't talk shit about someone that you're not even doing better than, & in today's day, age, & economy, doing better than someone means that you're educated with a degree in something relevant, have a good-paying job, & are financially stable. That's just to start off. Everything else that you have & do in your life on top of that from cool hobbies to other achievements to being able to afford to do & buy things that not everyone can is extra, & if you have ALL of that, then you have everything. I think that because I was able to achieve all of this, it also contributed to my ego & over-confidence. The fear of being average & like everyone else always scared me because not everyone turns out successful or fortunate enough to have their life made & turn out exactly the way that they planned it. There's truly nothing more sure, "forever", reliable, bold, intimidating, powerful, assertive, & authoritative than being educated & successful.
Aside from being successful, my mom raised me to endure the highest level of negativity, both at home & in the outside world. Being bullied in grade school never phased me, & I want to thank my mom for helping me with that. I don't take things that people say seriously, & I can take damage because I can cause damage, way better than anyone & everyone. Situations always favor me as well because of me being more successful than those who talked about me in grade school, & even now, so people can't find anything to insult me with because I don't put myself in situations where people have room to talk.
I was fortunate enough to have grown up on ego & confidence, but you can also build it up in many other ways. Here are some other ways I've built mine & some advice on how to build yours, too:
I have many other ways on how I gained my ego & confidence, but some things just have to stay as secrets. It's my Coca-Cola recipe. <3 If you don't figure it out on your own, then you never will; however, this should be enough to help you out in some way. Do keep in mind that when you do build your ego & your confidence, it's a drug, & let me just reassure you that no matter what anyone says, it's okay to be overly conceited, egotistical, confident, etc. I'd rather be that than overly insecure with extremely low self-esteem. I'll die passing that advice on if it's the last thing that I do. With my level of confidence, no one can touch me.
Another thought before the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show: Love & admire yourself before wishing to be someone else. Don't take your jealousy & insecurity out on other people, including on me!
Thanks to everyone who's told me that my ego & my confidence inspires them.
- Lo-fi hip-hop
- Instrumentals of my favorite songs
- Indie music - one of my favorite genres of music
- The Great Pumpkin Waltz - Vince Guaraldi
Finals are coming up, so I decided to share part of my study play-list. I listen to a lot of French music while I study, especially when I'm not at a coffee shop or cafe like usual because the French music reminds me of the coffee shop or cafe, & it makes me feel like I'm there. I also listen to a lot of classical music when I study. Classical music has always been a big part of my life. Studies & research have shown that kids who listen to classical music, specifically to Mozart & most especially while growing up, are smarter. Not only did my mom play classical music for me as a baby & as a toddler, but when I was old enough, I learned how to play the piano & the violin, so I actually played classical music myself as well. I also did ballet growing up, so I danced to a lot of classical music, too. You'll see that I also listen to lo-fi hip-hop while I study. The beats are very relaxing & nostalgic, & I can't focus while studying if I'm listening to music that has lyrics as much. The only time I'll listen to music that has lyrics while I study is if it's indie music, just because the music's very mellow, but I mostly listen to music that doesn't have lyrics. Sometimes, I'll listen to fast music, especially when I'm trying to grind extra hard on certain assignments / papers, if I procrastinated & I'm working on something super last minute, & / or if I'm on Adderall. I hope that this mini play-list helps you guys out. Good luck on your finals. School's hard, but you're harder than that.
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